hello guys, just thought i'd keep you updated on a few of my views for this week. so here goes.
Today
The french cease to amaze me, I had to receive (yet another bit of) documentation today. I had to get a medical certificate to prove I wasn't going to have a pulmonary embolism whilst climbing(at the rife old age of 2o). The fact that I've spent the last month climbing on the uni walls without so much as a heart pulpitation, let alone a full blown cardiac arrest is far from sufficient to fulfil the administrative needs of the french population.
However, my desire to climb fuelled me to get half naked in front of a doctor whilst she tested my breathing with her stethoscope. Admitedly it doesn't take a promise of outdoor climbing to bring out the birthday suite, but this is neither here nor there...
She then weighed me, and decided to knock nearly 2kg off my weight because I was wearing jeans. Im pretty sure they aren't equivalent to 2 bags of sugar, but I'm willing to accept that as the reason why I couldn't bring many clothes in my suitcase.
I was worried about my dodgey knees and back, so when she asked if I had any problems, I said no. Except that I forgot the MINOR fact that she was a doctor, and does indeed know when the human body isn't quite as healthy as it should be....she found it. I continued to explain how climbing has in fact been helping my back and that stopping me climbing would only cause long term paralysis...(ok exaggeration, but you get the picture).
the nurse gave me a booklet with lots of information on contraception, family planning, gynaecology (the address and telephone numbers of GPs, emergency services and dentists were not as imperative). She then proceded to give me some free condoms, I took a few yet she insisted on handing me more. The french really like their contraception, she kept telling me to come back for more. she "always has condoms". Great, I now have a bag full of condoms and look like I'm a sex addict (but it's ok, she gave me the number for addicts 'R' us so it's all ok). Besides, the condoms will always come in handy when smuggling those drugs back into England. Gatwick seem to have an unnecessary infactuation with me, my feet and my bags, so I might as well add a stomach full of cocaine filled johnny's to their list!
so between them they checked my weight, height, exercised, post exercise and rested pulse, blood pressure, general knowledge on contraception, poked my stomach around, checked my reflexes and balance just so they could verify that I was healthy and I could climb more safely, then I go to my climbing class (mostly full of people who have only been climbing for a month) and after a 5 minute brief, they had to lead climb without a helmet, and belay someone with the hope that they didn't fall because they hadn't been taught how to catch someone. My point is why go to all that effort of making sure I'm safe and healthy, when you're just going to throw health and safety out of the window!
my teacher tells me not to bother putting the rope through both karabiners at the top too; "one is strong enough". He's right, but it's bad practise. Try explaining that to the FFME if that one krab comes out of the wall...
Saturday
toga party, pretty standard, but obviously not accepted outside of the residence, so we opted for normal clothes and then a jolly old jaunt to the irish pubs. On the return home, I was asked If I knew any clubs where he could have sex, then continued to offer me sex. (hmmm, he must have seen my bag full of condoms) funnily enough mate, NO!!
Sunday
Spent the day in the outdoor shops in the local area, and found the sleeping bag I want for more than 40 euros more than in england. Bad times. I asked one of the guys who worked there loadsa questions-until he told me he didn't work there. (what is it with me and asking people questions in shops!)
Went for an evening jog along the Rhone river; it's very pretty at night.
Today
The french cease to amaze me, I had to receive (yet another bit of) documentation today. I had to get a medical certificate to prove I wasn't going to have a pulmonary embolism whilst climbing(at the rife old age of 2o). The fact that I've spent the last month climbing on the uni walls without so much as a heart pulpitation, let alone a full blown cardiac arrest is far from sufficient to fulfil the administrative needs of the french population.
However, my desire to climb fuelled me to get half naked in front of a doctor whilst she tested my breathing with her stethoscope. Admitedly it doesn't take a promise of outdoor climbing to bring out the birthday suite, but this is neither here nor there...
She then weighed me, and decided to knock nearly 2kg off my weight because I was wearing jeans. Im pretty sure they aren't equivalent to 2 bags of sugar, but I'm willing to accept that as the reason why I couldn't bring many clothes in my suitcase.
I was worried about my dodgey knees and back, so when she asked if I had any problems, I said no. Except that I forgot the MINOR fact that she was a doctor, and does indeed know when the human body isn't quite as healthy as it should be....she found it. I continued to explain how climbing has in fact been helping my back and that stopping me climbing would only cause long term paralysis...(ok exaggeration, but you get the picture).
the nurse gave me a booklet with lots of information on contraception, family planning, gynaecology (the address and telephone numbers of GPs, emergency services and dentists were not as imperative). She then proceded to give me some free condoms, I took a few yet she insisted on handing me more. The french really like their contraception, she kept telling me to come back for more. she "always has condoms". Great, I now have a bag full of condoms and look like I'm a sex addict (but it's ok, she gave me the number for addicts 'R' us so it's all ok). Besides, the condoms will always come in handy when smuggling those drugs back into England. Gatwick seem to have an unnecessary infactuation with me, my feet and my bags, so I might as well add a stomach full of cocaine filled johnny's to their list!
so between them they checked my weight, height, exercised, post exercise and rested pulse, blood pressure, general knowledge on contraception, poked my stomach around, checked my reflexes and balance just so they could verify that I was healthy and I could climb more safely, then I go to my climbing class (mostly full of people who have only been climbing for a month) and after a 5 minute brief, they had to lead climb without a helmet, and belay someone with the hope that they didn't fall because they hadn't been taught how to catch someone. My point is why go to all that effort of making sure I'm safe and healthy, when you're just going to throw health and safety out of the window!
my teacher tells me not to bother putting the rope through both karabiners at the top too; "one is strong enough". He's right, but it's bad practise. Try explaining that to the FFME if that one krab comes out of the wall...
Saturday
toga party, pretty standard, but obviously not accepted outside of the residence, so we opted for normal clothes and then a jolly old jaunt to the irish pubs. On the return home, I was asked If I knew any clubs where he could have sex, then continued to offer me sex. (hmmm, he must have seen my bag full of condoms) funnily enough mate, NO!!
Sunday
Spent the day in the outdoor shops in the local area, and found the sleeping bag I want for more than 40 euros more than in england. Bad times. I asked one of the guys who worked there loadsa questions-until he told me he didn't work there. (what is it with me and asking people questions in shops!)
Went for an evening jog along the Rhone river; it's very pretty at night.
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